I've learnt to accept myself 

But not in a way that I love my body or that I'm proud to be this size and look this way

But in a way where I just look like that 

Chubby faced

Small eyes

Non existent nose bridge

Broad shoulders 

No visible collar bones 

Gigantic arms

Huge body which has no small waist nor big hips

No flat stomach 

Thunder thighs

Big feet

I hate these parts of me so much 

But I accepted how I'm stuck w them

People would say "oh you don't exercise enough" or "if you diet properly you can get rid of those unnecessary fats"

What if I told you I have tried every method that people have recommended 

And it's so hard when it doesn't work

Because I've accepted the way I look

I've also accepted how people treat me because of my physical appearance 

Oh I've met the most biased people who judge by physical appearance 

And man that was bad

But I couldn't do much

Unless I do for plastic surgery, I'm stuck with how I look

It has also got me thinking that physical appearance is so important

How it gets people to like you 

So I've got rid of any kind of hope that someone would like me

In terms of liking more than a friend context 

I forbid myself to like anyone because I know they won't like me back

And that I am not worth their time

So I just don't let myself like anyone

And that makes me think of how I will not be dear and precious to anyone

No one will text me throughout the day

No one will call me goodnight 

No one will give me hugs whenever I need them

No one will tell me I'm special 

No one will make me feel like I mean the world to them

No one will boast to their friends about me

No one will do romantic and sweet things for me

Yup I've accepted all these things